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WHAT IS A WALLET?

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ZAHIR

The all-powerful Zahir seemed to be born with every human being and to gain full strength in childhood, imposing rules that would thereafter always be respected:

People who are different are dangerous; they belong to another tribe; they want our lands and our women.
We must marry, have children, reproduce the species.
Love is only a small thing, enough for one person, and any suggestion that the heart might be larger than this is considered perverse.
When we marry, we are authorized to take possession of the other person, body and soul.
We must do jobs we detest because we are part of an organized society, and if everyone did what they wanted to do, the world would come to a standstill.
We must buy jewelry; it identifies us with our tribe, just as body piercing identifies those of a different tribe.
We must be amusing at all times and sneer at those who express their real feelings; its dangerous for a tribe to allow its members to show their feelings.
We must at all costs avoid saying no because people prefer those who always say yes, and this allows us to survive in hostile territory.
What other people think is more important than what we feel.
Never make a fuss--it might attract of an enemy tribe.
If you behave differently, you will be expelled from the tribe because you could infect others and destroy someting that was extremely difficult to organize in the first place.
We must consider the look of our new cave, and if we don't have a clear idea of our own, then we must call in a decorator who will do his best to show others what good taste we have.
We must eat three meals a day, even if we're not hungry, and when we fail to fit the current ideal of beauty we must fast, even if we're starving.
We must dress according to the dictates of fashion, make love whether we feel it or not, kill the name of our country, wish time away so that retirement comes more quickly, elect politicians, complain about the cost of living, changes our hairstyle, criticize anyone who is different, go to a religious service on Sunday, Saturday, or Friday, depending on our religion, and there beg forgiveness for our sins and puff ourselves up with pride because we know the truth and despise the other tribe, who worships false god.
Our children must follow in our footsteps, after all, we are older and know about the world.
We must have a university degree even if we never get a job in the area of knowledge we were forced to study.
We must study things that we will never use, but which someone told us were important to know; algebra, trigonometry, the code of Hammurabi.
We must never make our parents sad, even if this means giving up everything that makes us happy.
We must play music quietly, talk quietly, weep in private, because I am the all-powerful Zahir, who lays down the rules and determines the distance between railway tracks, the meaning of success, the best way to love, the importance of rewards.


***
A GOOD BOOK....makes me think why life could never be fair..

white horse

THE ART OF WITHDRAWAL

A warrior of light who trusts too much in his intelligence will end up underestimating the power of his opponent.
It is important not to forget that, sometimes, strength is more effective than strategy. When we are confronted by a certain kind of violence, no amount of brilliance, argument, intelligence, or charm can avert tragedy.
That is why the warrior never underestimates brute force. When it proves too violent, he withdraws from the battlefield until his enemy has exhausted himself.
However, be very clear about one thing: a warrior of light is never cowardly. Flight might be an excellent form of defense, but it cannot be used when one is very afraid.
When in doubt, the warrior prefers to face defeat and then lick his wounds, because he knows that, if he flees, he is giving to the aggressor greater power than he deserves.
The warrior of light can heal the physical suffering, but will be eternally pursued by his spiritual weakness. In difficult and painful times, the warrior faces overwhelming odds with heroism, resignation, and courage.
In order to reach the necessary state of mind ( since he is entering a battle in which he is at disadvantage and could suffer greatly), the warrior of light needs to know exactly what might harm him. Okakura Kakuzo says in his book on the Japanese tea ceremony: “We see the evil in others because we want to hide it from ourselves. We show our strength, so that no one can see our frailty. That is why, whenever you judge your brother, be aware that it is you who s in the dock.”
Sometimes, this awareness can avoid a fight that will only bring disadvantages. Sometimes, however, there is no way out, only an unequal battle.
We know we are going to lose, but our enemy and his violence leave us no interest to us.
Man is not born, nor does he die. Having come into existence, he will never cease to be, because he is eternal and permanent.
Just as man discards old clothes and puts on new clothes, so the soul discards the old body and puts on a new one.
But the soul is indestructible; swords cannot pierce it, fire cannot burn it, water cannot wet it, the wind cannot dry it. It is beyond the power of all these things.
Since man is always indestructible, he is always victorious (even in his defeats), and that is why he should never be sad.

at all cost

it's 2am..
i can't sleep 'coz i just can't...
the past few weeks has been very busy for me..went to Iligan for some appointments with my patients..didn't sleep that weel cuz I flew the first flight to and fro, when I got back here last Monday I went straight back to work..
it's quite complicated, but I'm getting the hang out of it though..
I just hope things will run out smoothly this month..

THE REASON WHY I'M STILL SANE

I dedicate this to you pa...


thank you for nurturing me with so much love that life had in store for me..
thank you for instilling me the values that nobody could ever redeem from me..
I'll walk head's up on this journey,and through this journey, always remembering what you've always taught me best--- that "Nothing is more deceitful than the appearance of humility. It is often only carelessness of opinion, and sometimes an indirect boast."

thank you pa for being a good example..this has taught me all the lessons throughout my journey--that whoever shall I meet, I give peace to them, and peace shall make it easy for me to understand their difficulties in life. Not all families have the privilege of having a father to tuck them to bed at night ( i could still remember you putting up my "little castle" the ones with the mosquito net, you'd cover it up with a blanket, cuz you told me princesses sleep under a huge castle bed..you'd bury my sweet goodnight kiss..and never cease to tell me how much you love me..

you always tell me never start a good fight, because I'll never gain such strength with truces..instead you'd encourage me to go the hard way, seizing all the struggles and at the end pick up the pieces where it once started..

you never fail any recognition and graduation exercises..i always see my papzy somewhere in the stormy crowd--cuz you out-stand them all, looking very proud at me, whispering "i love you baby darling"..medals with or without, you never fail to tell me how much you treasure my success..

your first meeting with my boyfriend was truly amazing..cuz you never showed any harm to be done with any gents that courted me. You're the best gentleman of all..Thank you for accepting my grown-up world, for telling me that you still love me not as your baby, but now as your lady..


For this papzy, I'm so amazed with what life has brought me, not because none of these really mattered..but because each stone that break, a new gold has been digged-up, new rainbows to watch out in the rain, new fountains to rediscover, without any hesitations that you weren't there to be with me, but I know "you're here" inside me...I love you papzy, and if I would be thanking anybody for this graceful life, humbly I'd be thanking the Lord God for someone so special like you...HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!!!

~~my prayer~~

Lord,
Please protect my doubts, because Doubt is a way of praying. It is Doubt that makes me grow because it forces me to look fearlessly to the many answers that exist to one question. And in order for this to be possible...
Lord,please protect my decisions, because making Decisions is a way of praying. Give me the courage, after my doubts, to be able to choose between one road and another. May my YES always be a YES, and NO always be a NO. Once I have chosen my road, may I never look back nor allow my soul to be eaten away by remorse. And in order for this to be possible...
Lord, please protect my actions, because Action is a way of praying. May my daily bread be the result of the very best that I carry within me. May I, through work and Action, share a little of the love I receive from the people around me. And in order for this to be possible...
Lord, please give me enthusiasm, because Enthusiasm is a way of praying. It is what binds me to the Heavens and to the Earth, to grownups, and to children; it is what tells me that my desires are important and deserve my best effort. It is Enthusiasm that reaffirms me that everything is possible, as long as I am totally committed to what I am doing. And in order for this to be possible...
Lord, please protect me, because Life is the only way I have of making manifest Your miracle. May the earth continue to transform seeds into wheat, may I continue to transmute wheat into bread. and this is only possibles if I have Love; therefore, please do not leave me in solitude. Always give me Your company,and the company of men and women who have doubts, who act and dream and feel enthusiasm, and who live each day as if it were totally dedicated to Your glory. Amen.

BUBBLY US

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LUCKY

Lucky - Jason Mraz with Colbie Caillat

Do you hear me,
I'm talking to you
Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky, oh my, baby I'm trying
Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you I promise you, I will

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Lucky we're in love every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music fill the air
I'll put a flower in your hair
though the breezes through trees
Move so pretty you're all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Ooooh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

GROWING O-L-D

i hate the realization with this "growing UP" understatement...

for me, growing UP or shall i say growing old means a lot of responsibilities..

I've learned everything has its own purpose in life..
I'm not complaining though..i'm just airing my thoughts for today since I'm not that busy with the clinic. I miss the times when I'd get up from bed thinking about what to do first--either watch dvd's or surf the internet, or go out for coffee and breakfast.
Now, I get up, check my emails, then leave for work.I don't even have time for breakfast and since I'm coffee-banned then that leaves me for nothing.
My financial source is on drought--and my bills are getting higher.
My shopping days were way back dead...now it's all buried 6-ft below the ground (thanks to e-bay and multiply I get regular deliveries for my clothing and accessories)
LOVE---the deadliest of all..I'm getting nearer to my deadline!!( cuz I promised myself to have a baby @ 27) But we're both unstable financially, and we both have dreams to fulfill.. career-wise we're getting there *almost* but I'm reluctant with the way things are with our relationship being sacrificed..things are way too dormant;boring; and so routine..I don't feel IT anymore..

SO I DON'T WANT TO GROW UP!!!

GO FOR DEPTH OVER BREADTH

The best portion of a good man's life is his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and of love.---William Wordsworth

Gold, silver, precious stones, oil, natural gas, and virtually all precious metals and minerals come from mining the depths of the earth.These precious substances tend to be isolated pockets or veins and thus, mining requires hard work, careful planning, and courage. The results, however, produce genuine wealth, opportunity, and world standards of value.

So it is also with friendships, health, good relationships, faith, self-worth, hope, competency, a good reputation, and love. All these and the other great treasures of life require cultivation, diligence, discipline, and intensity of effort, but the result is an unfettered life of simplicity and worth. Focus on the real treasures of life.

To simple live and love well, dig deep into what truly matters.

LAMENT

those are the good ol' days...

i can't believe time flew so fast...
i could still remember my first enrollment day in college..i was with my mom when she entered me to an all-female dormitory.
as i entered thru the gate--i met my first friend in Cebu---Yen..

I could still remember all the giggles...when I would rush-pack the baggages on weekends just to see my "so-called sweety" (aptly now called as "my ex")..and talk with friends and cousins...

when I had my first serious and "REAL" boyfriend ( I couldn't forgive myself for busting our first romantic date--i know i know it was really my fault)

when I truly fell inlove---

I also won't forget the staggering, mind-blogging days with my theses.. and the gigolo's at school..all the ankle-bodily aching internship at the clinic..the irritating patients and the most understandable clinical instructors...

*tears*

now, as i've entered a new "gate" in my life...i want to thank the Lord for rebuilding me to a new "me"

I know some people would try to scratch me up and fill me in with social issues...I know I shouldn't let them crush me..--I'm way too better than that..

I have my friends, who are truly devoted in supporting me..by not buying all my negative thoughts, but correcting my evil deeds..

I have my cousins---who always share and trust me with their secrets..

I have my colleagues--who tolls me up to the most interesting knowledge and inputs with our profession and career...


I have my family---my mom who is so devoted in loving and caring for her children--for being a role model to an educated citizen like me..for molding me to become a sensible woman that I am right now..
--my papzy,, who loves me so much..the way he teaches me about things in life...the way he instilled humility in my senses...the way he encourages me to do things the right way..and the way he strengthens me to face the negative side of life..the way he tells me that everything will be okay,and that he loves me no matter what happens...he never showed any evil deeds when I grew up..he is a perfect father to me..and i love him so much..---my sister, with all the "kikayans" in life...I thank you for making me more beautiful inside and out..for lending me everything (from hairclips to ribbons., from skirts to dress, from shoes to bags) you have been my fashion consultant all these years..--to my silly brother...for enjoying your childhood years with me..for teaching me all the ball-games..for strolling with me on the neighborhood with our roller blades on..i so love you all!!!

to the one who totally changed my life--MY MAN
you are the one I've always prayed for..having you in my life filled all the emptiness that I felt before I met you...you make me feel secured with your arms within me...you made me feel right when everything else is wrong..you made me feel loved..you've changed everything else that's bothering me...you made me feel beautiful with your gaze....you are my life now..and i love you so much..

Now, I can proudly say that I'm ready for all the challenges that life would bring me..I have everything that I need..nothing more, nothing less....

my funny valentine

"Love is like playing the piano. First you must learn to play by the rules, then you must forget the rules and play from your heart." ~Unknown

make haste

thank you =)

THANK YOU JUD =)