why LIFE is not impossible

Awhile ago I was busy chatting with my friend through Yahoo messenger. She said she really felt so frustrated with work and it has already affected her social as well as her love life. Worst it has even lowered her faith in God. She told me that she's been quite out-of-stand for the past 2 months already....

Life at all is not that impossible if you just live freely with your soul. No hesitations, no eliminations, just pure acceptance for what you truly believe in. I for once was a total wreck.. I was hopeless with work, I struggled on my own without the help of anybody else.. I was de-illuminated. I WAS LOST...

There was a certain point in my life wherein I would not conceal myself into prayers. That I would picture what others would think of me. I go for what's easy and unpride. I take on what others think of me, and that I accepted it as if it "was" really me. I just smile, ran out of words, throat-stuck and walk away.

But that has stopped me from doing the things that I really want to do. I wanted to sing, but afraid of the humiliation. I wanted to dance, but afraid if I might stumble. I wanted to do my best, but afraid to fail in the end... I was "ick-ish".

One day, on my way to work, I saw an old woman, bent inward positionally, she was trying to cross the street. I walked her through the pedestal. And I slowly held her hand, guided her out from the traffic. We both ended up at the church, so I let go of her and asked her to take care. She just stared at me, nodded, then walked away. I was then back to awareness that I was late for work so I hurried on my way to the clinic. That day was the busiest day I could remember. I ended my last treatment around 8pm. My back was aching intermittently, and my gastric juice is squeezing my appetite. When I got home, I ran into bed and slept. I didn't even change my working clothes.

I woke up around 2am. And I felt hunger. So I hurried into the refreshments, and took some bread crumbs and cheese. Then I remembered that I haven't slipped off my working clothes yet.
I took a quick shower and rested in bed. I suddenly remembered the "lola" that I helped at the street that day. I just didn't remember that moment, what entered into my mind was the facade of the altar of the church. It has been weeks since I last attended mass.
I jumped out of bed and started to pray. I never realized how long that prayer was for me, but I just felt my cheeks wet and knew I was crying. I don't even know why I was crying!!

That day was a relief. I could just imagine the pain I've dealt with before that day came. Right now, that pain had vanished. I feel so happy and blessed. I just wanted to live the life that I have right now.

I never contemplate on the negative feelings that I've had before. I just know that I'm happy and entertained with the sight of my being. I'm loving my job, I quit staring at the blank air, there were no unreasonable arguments with my boyfriend. Everything in my life right now is equally hummed. So you see, if you feel doubts and hesitations about yourself...Think about this: life is really not that impossible to deal with.. BECAUSE LIFE IS WHAT WE MAKE IT.